By Dave#2 | December 4, 2011
Well, it’s been a weekend to remember. Sal got her period on Saturday. Nature sure has a wicked sense of humor. How does one who STILL has problems in the toilet and has accidents still (at 14) get a period? I mean it’s something she will NEVER use.
She thought she had pooped her pants and when I told her no, she had her period she began to cry. “I don’t want my period”. She said it so matter-of-factly, like she could *will* it away. She was ok - because we were soon on our way to a Holiday Fest with the Fox critters. 
Sal did her usual Obi One “use the force” thing on Friday night. She was getting ready to go to the Jr High Winter Carnival and told me “I’m going to win a fish tonight”.
Sure enough, she came home all smiles with her chubby little hand holding on to a plastic bag with a tiny goldfish in it. She reported that she had played buckets, bingo, soccer, and wrestling. I was curious about the wrestling and when I questioned her further she told me she had beat a boy. :-) (poor boy).
After our fun with the Foxes we came home and Sal had to immediately leave for caroling with the Special Needs kids. If you know how Sal sings - it should have been a *lovely* performance. :-) The saving grace is that they caroled at the Nursing Home - so maybe the hard of hearing escaped Sal’s melodious voice. And God knows everyone is melted by that smile of hers. 
Mrs E stopped by in the afternoon - totally shocked me. She’s Sal’s social worker and big part of our team. She had run into Bill in the morning and he had told her of Sal’s new found “womanhood” and so she came by with a little giftie for Sal. She also called Mrs P - team leader and shared with her. They were both so excited. Isn’t that nice? I don’t know what it is but we have ALWAYS had the very BEST teachers and team though Valley View. I swear - it’s like the Sal is not only mine but the whole community’s. SO many people care about her and go out of the way to show it. Really made my day.
So the day I’ve been dreading for about 2 years is finally here and over. I’ll be going to see Dr L about putting Sal on the pill or shot or what ever. My Oct List told me of shots every 3 months in which you don’t have a period at all. I’ll also be inquiring at what age we could think of hysterectomy.
Sal has done really well. We have just one more hurdle - we swim tomorrow, so we’ll see just how bad things are “down there” and *if* we can swim. :-/ If we have to cancel THAT - she may be ready to do the harricarry. :-)
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By Dave#2 | November 28, 2011
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By Dave#2 | November 28, 2011
It’s *that* time again…..
Oh, how I
love Christmastime. And by Christmastime I do mean the days between
November 1 and January 1. :-/ Gotta love all the
Christians whose
only problem is that someone
dare tell
them that there were
actually others in the Country who - God forbid - celebrate something other than
Christmas! There is SO much wrong with this I can’t even count: First
- if you’re
really Christian - which means you try and live as Christ
lived - you wouldn’t get SO upset about something SO trivial. Christ was
nothing if not tolerant of others’ feelings. Christ was at the base someone who
despised material goods so to honor his birthday with material goods seems well,
un-Christlike. The “Christmas” tree was actually brought into the whole
Christmas celebration to INCLUDE the pagans who decorated trees at
Solstice. Since we have now started celebrating Christmas for more days than
just the 25th - I see it as perfectly normal to say “Happy Holidays” because
there are MANY days in there! Oh and as far as someone being UN American if they
don’t celebrate Christmas -
“The first century of colonial life saw few
set times and days for pleasure. The holy days of the English Church were as a
stench to the Puritan nostrils, and their public celebration was at once rigidly
forbidden by the laws of New England. New holidays were not quickly evolved, and
the sober gatherings for matters of Church and State for a time took their
place. The hatred of “wanton Bacchanallian Christmasses” spent throughout
England, as Cotton said, in “revelling, dicing, carding, masking, mumming,
consumed in compotations, in interludes, in excess of wine, in mad mirth,” was
the natural reaction of intelligent and thoughtful minds against the excesses of
a festival which had ceased to be a Christian holiday, but was dominated by a
lord of misrule who did not hesitate to invade the churches in time of service,
in his noisy revels and sports. English Churchmen long ago revolted also against
such Christmas observance.
Of the first Pilgrim Christmas we know but little,
save that it was spent, as was many a later one, in work.”
The whole
“season” makes me so very depressed. All the hype, all the running around, all
the mandatory happiness. Oh, and if you DARE voice your dislike of this most
wondrous (made-up) holiday - you would be best to disrobe and take your lashings
like a man.
And so it starts - I try and hide my disdain from my
children at least - this IS the greatest holiday for children. But I certainly
don’t go overboard and try very hard to instill in them some sense of tolerance
and that there is in fact OTHER people in the world who don’t march in lock-step
and actually celebrate other beliefs AND that those people actually have
VALUE! I did get to see last night that my actions are not all in vein when
Jack reminded me of a song that one of my friends (a Jahew - gasp) sent to me
and I shared with Jack. He told me he got to learn that song on the guitar and
I was proud - maybe MY kids will be at peace with Christmas, there’s always hope
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By Dave#2 | October 2, 2011
The weekend’s pretty much over and we survived! :-) So, the family event: we met the most AWESOME couple. It never fails - total strangers are so much nicer and at ease with Sal than people who have known her since birth. Granted the woman was a speech therapist. I swear Special Needs people have a 6th sense about Special Needs kids. We had a GREAT time!
Went to the Shag afterwards and as I sat around the fire and laughed my butt off after being greeted with cheers and hugs I realized that it’s true - family is who you include in your lives. Those who don’t care to take the time for you don’t need to be mourned for. It’s their choice and they’re welcome to it.
I’ve done some real soul-searching and Bill and I have had some great talks and I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
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By Dave#2 | September 30, 2011
I am a parent of a child with special needs. My life isn’t glamorous and it is full of hard work everyday. I go weeks before I realize I need a break. But in the end, the gifts of joy I receive with just an inch of progress - are quite extraordinary and in these moments I know we can do anything.
Boy, ain’t this the truth. It’s been a week of up and down. We’ve been invited to a family event this weekend and it was pretty much said that Sal wasn’t welcome. I have to admit - it stings. Since I’ve had time to deal with this - I’m a little less “hot” than I was when the info first came down the pipe.
Bill says we’re taking her any way. The thing is - we have NO sitter for her. Let me tell you the last time we had a weekend or even a night away from her: When I went to the hospital and had Jack. :-)
The way *I* feel about it : Sal is a very special spirit. You are *privileged* to be part of her life. Soooo - when you’re a butt-munch you don’t get the privilege of being in her life - period. Not when it’s convenient for you - not when there’s no one around - never. But I’ve been out-voted. At least in this case.
I broke down the other night and really BAWLED. I think it wasn’t only this situation but just the climax of a really weird week. Sal had several really good days at school and then of course brought the whole thing down with a really NASTY day. Ugghh. It’s just tiring - the whole up and down - so low and then so high.
Jack is going to a sib shop tomorrow. It’s where kids get together to talk and do stuff and the one thing they have in common: they’re all siblings of Special Needs kids.
We also met Sal’s teachers for next year. They had Best Buddies fundraiser night at Culvers and we went - Sal will be getting a Best Buddy next year - and Jim (the owner of Culvers) introduced us to the teachers. They had heard of Sal. :-) It’s always amazing to me how total strangers are so much more involved in her life than family. I think that’s what kind of brought me “up”.
So, we’ll see how things go. I’m looking forward to Monday and the end of this weekend.
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